Friday, March 12, 2010

The Sanctity of Marriage and using Jesus to Push Children Around

To really get into a good discussion about why gay people should be allowed to marry in the United States, one must first begin with a very basic vocabulary lesson.  When people start screaming about why gay and lesbian couples should not be treated the same as everyone else, conservatives almost always jump to "preserving the sanctity of marriage."  This is a completely flawed argument, and here is why:

From  Sanctity:   1.holiness, saintliness, or godliness.

                                                  2.sacred or hallowed character
                                                  3.a sacred thing.

From Merriam-Webster online: Sanctity:  1. holiness of life and character
                                                                                                         2. the quality of being holy or sacred

Anyone getting a theme here?  We live in a country where people are to have freedom of religion (and from religion, if they so choose).  To make an argument that an action, such as marrying two men and two women, goes against the "sanctity" of a concept, you are already using religious language.  People feel safe doing this because using one's religion to promote bigotry is somehow still safe in this country.  A politician can't just come out and say, "I don't like gay people."  But he or she feels great about saying, "I believe in the sanctity of marriage."  The holiness.  The sacred.  The religious-based right or wrongness of the act.

And there is no basis for not allowing homosexual marriage except a religious one.  The Religious Right, a group who cannot and/or will not separate their religious values from their political practices, believes that homosexuality is wrong according to the teachings of Jesus.  Therefore we shall not have gay marriage.  I'm sorry, but when did we become a country ruled by their version of What Jesus Would Do?

Take it a step further, and you have people trying to push their religious values about homosexuality onto the publically funded schools of their community.  It's bad enough that the Archdiocese of Denver has decided to outlaw children of gay people in their privately funded schools.  Their private funding grants them license to make their own rules, unless discrimination can be proven.  But this school, in Mississippi, gets taxpayer dollars to keep it's doors open.  When the loudest group of religious zealots can use their voice to push even school children around, we have a serious problem. 

If you don't like homosexuality and it's against your religion, don't hang out with gay people.  Don't attend their marriage ceremonies.  Attend a church that refuses to perform them.  Enroll your children in the Christian school of your choice (might I recommend Sacred Heart of Jesus in Boulder, CO) where gay and lesbian parents or students will not be tolerated.  But you absolutely must stop using our taxpayer money to fund your relgious bias.  And stop telling me you "hate the sin but love the sinner" while you treat some human beings with less dignity and respect than you do others.  You do not love anyone who you would deny equal treatment under the law.

If you believe that today's treatment of homosexual people will one day be looked at as we now look at the segregation of the pre-civil rights movement America, then you must speak out.  If you believe that sexual orientation is not a basis to decide whether or not a child can attend a prom, then you must speak out.  If you believe that every loving couple deserves the full benefits of marriage, you must speak out.  Speak out against every hateful act and every hateful email.  We must make the treatment of gay and lesbian people in this country a shameful part of our past. 

Thanks to the following thoughtful posts that made me finally sit down and write about something I've been meaning to for awhile:,,, and a FaceBook link from a friend to this:


  1. Great post, Sky. I completely agree.

  2. Thanks, TC. The last time I wrote a post such as this one (on my old blog), a bunch of conservatives stopped by to call me a lesbian. I'm not, but the weird thing is, was that supposed to be some kind of huge insult?

  3. I can't say, Sky. I'd like to try being a lesbian. ;-)